We are raised in a world that teaches us we need to fit a certain mold. It’s as if they’ve given us a pre-determined (and generic) set of criteria that we have to meet in order to be attractive, loveable, and even successful. When we inevitably don’t fit that mold - because we’re human and each of us is wholly unique - we can become frustrated, stressed, depressed, or anxious, and even develop moderate to severe self-loathing.
By the time we’re adults, this concept has been so ingrained in our minds that it can be difficult to accept ourselves as we naturally are. This can lead to accepting jobs that we don’t really want, entering into relationships that don’t meet our personal needs, or even hiding our authentic selves just so that we can blend in with the society around us.
Breaking that cycle requires additional support, which has led to the emergence of self-love classes and coaches. Even if you think it’s something that you can handle on your own, seeking out a trained professional to help you identify your authentic self and begin taking the appropriate steps that will enable you to love yourself as you naturally (and perfectly) are will help to make the process easier.
So here are my top five reasons why you should consider working with a self-love coach.
#1 The Benefit of an Unbiased and Fresh Perspective in the Path to Self Love
The honest truth of the matter is that your opinion of yourself is biased. You’ve spent so much time critically analyzing yourself and measuring yourself by someone else’s scale that peeling all those misconceptions away so that you can identify yourself, understand yourself, and begin to love yourself is no easy task. Bringing in someone who doesn’t have those misconceptions can help to provide you with a vitally important fresh perspective. Self-love coaches will work with you to tear apart the scale you’ve been using to judge yourself by for so many years and help you begin to look at yourself with honest and loving eyes. We’ll ask difficult questions, challenge your learned perspective, and tear apart the masks that you’ve created, finally exposing your authentic self in soft, nurturing, and loving light.
But without that unbiased perspective, making any progress at all is at best challenging and at worst, impossible.
#2 Assistance in Defining Self Love and Finding Self Love
If you’ve spent so much time focused on self-loathing and being critical of yourself, how can you even begin to define what self-love is or how to find it? One of the first things that a self-love coach will do is to help you define what self-love looks like to you in addition to what self-love looks like in a more general and mental-health type scenario. Sure, you can research this on your own and that may provide you with some good insight into what general self-love resembles, but remember, you’re unique.
While others may feel self-love through bubble baths and long walks at dusk, your version of self-love may look like a short nap in the middle of the day, choosing the more comfortable outfit because you know it will help you feel more confident and like yourself. While it seems like this would be straightforward, some of us have spent so much time making decisions based on what the world expects of us, that it can be difficult to identify the things we even like, want, or need.
#3 A Self Love Coach Offers Support and Encouragement during a Difficult Process
I won’t lie to you: the journey to self-love is not easy. It’s not even simply challenging. It is outright difficult and, at times, painful. The misconceptions you’ve developed over the years are going to fight back - as any toxic relationship would. And, that’s exactly what you’ve developed with yourself, a toxic relationship.
By bringing an unbiased and professional third party into the process, you’ll have consistent access to someone who wants to see you succeed in this endeavor. Your self-love coach will be there to encourage you on the difficult days, hold your hand on the painful days, and celebrate with you on the successful days. We make it so that you don’t have to navigate this process on your own. We’ll be there with you every step of the way, ensuring that you reach your ultimate goal of loving your authentic self!
#4 Accountability is Key in the Process of Finding Self Love
There are going to be days where you want to give up. It’s going to feel easier to stay where you are, fighting to fit a mod that you weren’t designed to fit. “Better the devil you know. . .” But that feeling means that you’re making progress and a self-love coach is going to be there to keep you moving forward, even on the days you want to throw in the towel and take the easier route.
Because we’re trained professionals, we have collected a good amount of resources designed to help you on these tough days. We understand that you need breaks, you need soft days to offset the painful days, so we will have exercises, meditations, and mantras to help you get through the worst days. We can also help you identify when you’re not challenging yourself enough and when you’re challenging yourself too much. This is not a journey you can manage in one day or one week - maybe not even one month.
#5 Identifying When You’ve Succeeded in Finding Self Love
How will you know when you’ve reached your goal if you haven’t clearly defined it? By working with a self-love coach, we’ll have thoroughly outlined where you are, where you’d like to be, and what steps we need to take to get you there. Consistent evaluation of your progress will help us determine if those steps need to be adjusted, or even if your final goal evolves as we move forward.
Understanding how to adjust the process to suit your changing and evolving needs is part of the reason why choosing an experienced self-love coach is so important. We’re flexible, adaptable, and highly perceptive. We may notice when an adjustment needs to be made before you do!
How do you Find a Self Love Life Coach?
If you’re beginning to realize that you may have formed a toxic relationship with yourself or have settled into a routine of self-loathing that is holding you back from loving your authentic self, then schedule a time to speak with a self-love coach is a great next step.
Most coaches - myself included - offer a complimentary introductory consultation in order to help you determine if a) this is the right step for you and b) if we’re the right fit for you. And, because we’re self-love coaches, we don’t believe in high-pressure situations. Your first conversation will be light, relaxing, and honest, ensuring that you get all the information you need to make the very best decision for you.
If you’ve liked what you’ve read so far, I encourage you to check out my website and get to know me a little bit more. I’m happy to schedule a time to speak with you regarding your experiences, what led you here, and the goals you’re hoping to accomplish. From there we can determine if I’m the right self-love coach for you and, if so, what the next step is.
If you take nothing else away from this blog, please let it be that the measuring stick you’ve been measuring yourself with is not a positive one. If you’re highly critical of yourself, find it difficult to look in the mirror, or can’t even determine what it is that you truly want, then it’s time to make a change. Because living your authentic life is freeing and allows you to see life in colors (and glitter) you never knew existed.